What's It Like Being A Trans/Non-Binary Actor?

As I settle into my actor housing at Actor's Theatre of Louisville, going back through my Gender Play script to prep for this latest run of the show, I'm reminded of just how much I love being non-binary. 

Especially when it comes to performing Shakespeare.

It's been a long road the past three and a half years since I first came out to a few friends and family.

Past me would be so relieved to know that my self-love has only grown since then.

On a general level, I describe myself as non-binary and transgender.

I’m still learning what my transition goals are, but I love the fluidity that being non-binary provides. I don’t have to define anything in concrete; I just get to learn more about myself every day.

I love my transness and the way it frees me to choose how I want to shape my life.

And, as an actor in a cisnormative (prioritizing and privileging cisgender people) world, it provides a special acting challenge...

As an actor, I work in a career field where your external appearance factors into what kind of work you get.

When your body already doesn’t line up with how you’re made, this can be a challenge to navigate.

I’m still learning how to manage my gender dysphoria. But it doesn’t stop me from acting.

I think it’s part of why I started acting: theatre gave me a way to transform myself, to be someone that lined up with the gender I knew I was and be gendered correctly in a predictable setting (thank you scripts).

I often have a different relationship to costumes, voice lessons, and movement lessons than my cisgender peers.

Because our culture prioritizes cis bodies, I’ve had more than one instance where a director, cast mate, peer or costumer gave a note that triggered gender dysphoria:

“Just stick your chest out”

“Can you be more manly?”

“I just can only see you as [assigned gender at birth]”

I also run into plenty of misconceptions about being non-binary:

“What if you’re wrong?”

“Just pick one”

“But you’re so pretty. Why would you want to waste/mutilate that?”

“You can’t be the matinee idol/love interest/lead”

“I never would’ve seen you as the general/soldier/love interest”

“So you hate yourself?”

But I know these are all inaccurate. 

I love the special perspective my transness provides.

I get to question character motivations and come up with (often) unexpected versions of well-known characters.

I can flow across genders believably because I’ve studied what behaviors, postures, and vocal tendencies predispose audiences to perceive different gender presentations.

I have a nuanced (and constantly evolving) understanding of movement and voice, which allows me to play MORE stories, not fewer.

This is why I'm launching a story development business to support artists where action and writing overlap. 

Learning about myself has helped me lead with curiosity and hold space for the big feelings that come up when dealing with stories.

As my newsletter audience, you'll be the first to know when it launches, so expect to see an exclusive extra email from me when things are ready to officially launch!

For more information about the trans community, I highly recommend these trans activists and educators:

Ash Hardell

Jackson Bird

Jammidodger

National Black Trans Advocacy Coalition

HRC Trans Activists You Need To Know https://www.hrc.org/news/trans-activists-you-need-to-know

SirSpencer Bergstedt (@daddyspencer)

Happy learning!